Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Shattered

When Shattered Magazine wanted to know what my childhood dreams were, I was kind of stumped.  I couldn't even remember.  It's been so long since I've thought about my younger self. I've been caught up in the moment of the life that I am living now - raising children, loving and losing Bronner, wrestling it all out, and writing what I've learned.  For me, there hasn't been a before or after, just life being lived, doing the best I can and trusting God with the rest.  

It wasn't until after I got off the phone with the reporter on Monday, that I understood what she was looking for.  She wanted to know if my hopes and dreams had been shattered and whether or not God had picked up the pieces and put me back together.  I hung up the phone and went for a run through the woods and around the pond at Veteran's Park.  It occurred to me as I ran that nothing good in me has been shattered. God shattered only what needed to be shattered: worldliness, pride, and self-reliance.  I'm no longer tied to world the way that I was before, and that is so freeing.  Because I'm not in love with the shiny things of the world anymore, I'm free to live as God is calling me live, following the Spirit however and wherever He leads. "Not my will, but thine, O Lord, be done." This is God's will for me and for you.  

Just before the first anniversary of Bronner's Heaven-going, I was reading through 1 Peter as I had done many, many times before, and 1 Peter 4:1-2 jumped off the page at me screaming, "This is why and this is what you must do." I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in my rocking chair on the front porch of our little farmhouse in Jemison, Alabama wrapped in a blanket and holding a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee, and there they were, the words that changed my life, "Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin so as to life for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God." 

This is a universal truth, for if we are in the flesh, we will suffer.  So take this flesh of mine, O Lord, and do with it what you will.  I am yours, and, hallelujah, You are mine! And You, Oh Great God, are enough for me. 

4 comments:

  1. This is so freeing in such a glorious way. I have been shattered at one point. You are right - it is not about our fleshly time here in this fallen world- but about our eternity. Not longing for human passions but for the will of God. I pray Ez 36:26 in my life and in others. Thank you for shining the light on this passage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "And You, Oh Great God, are enough for me." How true! I just received my first (of many) copies of Bronner. What a dream come true. It's beautiful in every way. Yes, I definitely believe more than ever that this book is God-ordained to touch the lives of untold tens of thousands of readers and their families and friends and small groups and churches. What a treasure to have walked this journey with you and Rick. As you can imagine, I continue to be passionate about your mission and vision. So, if there is anything further I can do for you, just say the word. Have a best-ever Christmas season! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for sharing. I love reading your posts. I can remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news of Bronner's homegoing. My wife and I were youth leaders, and we had a group at Bear Creek. I have heard Rick talk about it, and you and your precious family have been in my prayers every since. I am from Gadsden, and I blog on http://walkinginmydestiny.com/ Merry Christmas to you and your family! Is there a Way to follow you in other social media to keep up with your posts? God Bless!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crying, difficult times, thank you for your words Sherri!

    ReplyDelete