It wasn't until after I got off the phone with the reporter on Monday, that I understood what she was looking for. She wanted to know if my hopes and dreams had been shattered and whether or not God had picked up the pieces and put me back together. I hung up the phone and went for a run through the woods and around the pond at Veteran's Park. It occurred to me as I ran that nothing good in me has been shattered. God shattered only what needed to be shattered: worldliness, pride, and self-reliance. I'm no longer tied to world the way that I was before, and that is so freeing. Because I'm not in love with the shiny things of the world anymore, I'm free to live as God is calling me live, following the Spirit however and wherever He leads. "Not my will, but thine, O Lord, be done." This is God's will for me and for you.
Just before the first anniversary of Bronner's Heaven-going, I was reading through 1 Peter as I had done many, many times before, and 1 Peter 4:1-2 jumped off the page at me screaming, "This is why and this is what you must do." I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my rocking chair on the front porch of our little farmhouse in Jemison, Alabama wrapped in a blanket and holding a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee, and there they were, the words that changed my life, "Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin so as to life for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God."
This is a universal truth, for if we are in the flesh, we will suffer. So take this flesh of mine, O Lord, and do with it what you will. I am yours, and, hallelujah, You are mine! And You, Oh Great God, are enough for me.
