Thursday, April 8, 2010

"Mom, a dragonfly!"



I saw my first dragonfly of the season this week when my boys took their inaugural swim in our pool on Tuesday after school. Rick and I lounged out there poolside and watched as they played and swam together, Brooks and Brody. I loved hearing my 11-year-old who so wants to be a teenager and is obsessively concerned with coolness say, “Mom, watch this!” That gave my heart such joy. They’re still little boys who want their mommy to see what they can do. But, as I sat there my heart full but pensive, Brody yelled out, “Mom, a dragonfly!” They know how much dragonflies mean to me and never fail to let me know if they see one. I looked and sure enough there he was zipping around over the pool going round and round appearing as happy and as natural as any other part of that delightful scene.

All of my closest friends and family know why I love dragonflies so much. I’ve told the story in talks I’ve given at various churches. I don’t always tell it depending on who I’m talking to and what the Lord has laid on my heart to say on that particular day. If you’ve ever heard me speak since Bronner went to heaven, you have heard a word from the Lord, because it is all from Him. And, what is so interesting is that He normally doesn’t want me to say the same thing too often. Most churches have a tailor-made speech just for them from the Lord. But, I’ve told my dragonfly story enough times that sweet friends and sisters in Christ have given me so many of them that they are all over my house.

I have soap dishes with dragonflies on them, soap itself, decorative bowls, an ornament for my Christmas tree, a dragonfly sun-catcher just above my sink in the kitchen, two tiles, a picture clip, a picture frame, a small side table, a hand-made scarf, key chains (two of them), a couple of different necklaces, earrings, several pins (one from Kim, one from Veronica, one from Melisha, and one from Laurie), a lovingly sculpted ceramic dragonfly made in my friend’s basement, and even real dragonflies encased and framed given to me by a missionary from my church who saw it in China town on a trip to California. I have two sculpted pieces at Bronner’s grave that family members have put there. And I have a dragonfly door-knocker on the door at our farm in Jemison.

Everyone loves the dragonfly story, but I think what the dragonfly gifts most express is each giver’s great love for me. I am so thankful for the women in my life. I have the sweetest friends on the face of the planet. I have been prayed for and prayed over. I have been loved and mothered with the tenderness that only a woman of God could offer. I can’t even begin to tell you all the ways my dear, sweet friends have ministered to me in the two years since my baby has been in heaven, but one thing is certain... it has all been completely God driven.

One woman dreamed that my head was glued to her chest! Many of them told me they woke up in the middle of the night with an urgent sense that they were to pray for me. Laura said she woke up in the night crying and didn’t know why, and then she heard my name in a whisper. These women of prayer, in tune with The Holy Spirit, have carried my burden alongside me all this time. One sweet girl from church, a young mother herself, sent me a card a week for two years with the bible verse she had prayed for me that week written inside.

Then, of course, there were the women who had lost their sons too, some from illness and others from tragic accidents like mine. They told me how to make it through those first months and years without Bronner. Stephanie told me, “Just do the next thing.” “Find joy in your other sons.” And Kelly was very honest, “It’s not going to get any better. I miss Billy everyday. But I keep living. I still will go out on my porch and have my pity party, but when I’m done I get up and do what I have to do.”

There were cards and letters and books sent from all over the country. I have never seen let alone experienced such an outpouring of love and support from the family of God. I got flowers from people in New York, books from Texas, and cards from Ohio. This was different for me, because I have always been such a strong person. I have always been the one who felt I was to minister to, teach, and comfort others, but here I was on the receiving end. And, it felt good. You all made me feel very loved. It was a gift of God, this comfort from His family, the church, the whole church, not just my own but every church in this city, and beyond, way beyond. I think we even got letters from men in the military stationed in other countries. I had not known before how good and how big God’s family really is!

“After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could count.” (Revelation 7:9)

People really want to do something. They want to help. They want to give. They want to comfort. It wasn’t just the dragonflies, but so many other special gifts too. I was given several beautiful paintings of Bronner from women I had not previously known, and the artists all said the Holy Spirit prompted them to paint sweet Bronner. There’s one hanging at the farm of Bronner in his heavenly robe holding up a fishing rod that absolutely captures the slump of his shoulder. It’s so perfect because I had hoped that Bronner would learn to fish down at the farm, and there is that beautiful painting reminding me that he’s still learning to fish… in heaven.

My friend, Mary Jo, has an adult son in heaven. He’s buried right next to Bronner. We wanted it that way, because I just didn’t want my baby lying there with a bunch of people we don’t know. I know he’s not really lying there, but on resurrection day, his body’s going to come right up out of that grave, and the Burgesses and the Kynerds will be rising up into the clouds alongside each other. But, Mary Jo, gave me a picture of her son, Jay, an avid fisherman, holding up a huge rainbow trout. In fact, he was fishing when the fatal heart attack struck. We now have rainbow trout in our pond, by the way. But, I just know, I know, Jay has taken Bronner under his wing in heaven and has taught him how to bait a hook and cast a line and reel in that big catch. I know it.

There’s another painting hanging above my bed done by a precious lady from Mobile, and that painting looks exactly like Bronner. It’s truly remarkable. She e-mailed Rick asking for a picture of Bronner and told him what she planned to do. He gave her a picture of Bronner sitting in that old pick-up truck in Alabama Wilds at the Birmingham Zoo. And, the likeness is unbelievably exact, and written on the hood of the truck is the most perfect passage of scripture, Psalm 40:1-3. It says, “I waited patiently for the Lord. He lifted me out of the pit. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.”

A pencil drawing hangs in my bathroom of Bronner and a Lion. There’s an inscription, The Lion and the Precious Lamb, and a verse, 1 Thessalonians 5:10. I have a little painting of our whole family sitting on my counter, and in it, Bronner has wings. All… gifts from women of God who were prompted by the Holy Spirit. But, it wasn’t just the women. Rick’s friends wanted to do something too, and men think a little outside the box. Men think big. They have to do something grand.

One of them had the idea to take Rick and me to Wyoming. Michael couldn’t take us himself, but he knows people who could. Jackson Hole is a very expensive place. I think Dick Cheney has a vacation house there. So, Adler, as his wife calls him, called on an old friend from Texas who happens to be the CEO of AT&T. Michael and Linda and Rick and I boarded a private plane owned by another couple in our church who also went on the weekend trip, and we three couples headed over to Texas where two more were added to our number as we changed planes and jetted up to Wyoming. Michael and Rick spent an afternoon just the two of them fishing in the Snake River. It was truly a blessing and a gift for my husband to be in that place during that most difficult time. Thanks, Adler, for that and for so many other ways you and Linda have ministered to our family and continue to do so not only with your angelic voices but with your whole hearts as well.

I have to say that I have another friend who had the same idea, to get me away to a place I had never been. It was a little different. Connie took me to Clanton, Alabama, and we spent the day going to the flea market and visiting places I had not been before. Things like that helped. They really did. I could go on and on about the kindness of people who mourned with us over the loss of our indelibly wonderful Bronner. But, God Himself was the one who comforted Rick and me with the most perfect comfort. One of the ways God’s hand of love, comfort, and confirmation was shown to us was through the dragonflies.

After Bronner went to heaven, I kept seeing dragonflies, and they were always this baby blue color that made me think of Bronner. The first time I saw them, there were three of them hovering around Bronner’s grave as I sat there alone. I watched them as they played around together there at the grave. They weren’t playing around the other graves, just Bronner’s. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I had never noticed how bright and colorful dragonflies were, and that baby blue was so beautiful. I knew they were from God even that very first time I saw them. I even thought that maybe God had granted Bronner and some friends an opportunity to just come hang out with me there for the day. I didn’t know. In fact, I didn’t know anything about dragonflies, but after I started seeing those baby blue dragonflies everywhere and all the time, I wanted to know more.

A friend of mine had told me of a similar event happening to her after her dad went to heaven, but Brenda had been given little yellow butterflies. She didn’t know why either at first but knew they were from the Lord. They didn’t act like normal butterflies would. They did really interesting things like follow her down the road as she ran, and she told me of how one of them flew in the window of her car, circled her head, and flew back out. She knew they were there to comfort her in some way but didn’t “get” the message God was sending her until one day when she noticed a caterpillar crawling around in the grass. The light bulb went off. “Oh, now I get it, God! We, here on earth, are like the caterpillar, but my dad who is in heaven is like the butterfly.”

God wanted me to hear Brenda’s story, but at first, I thought, “That’s a great story, Brenda, but what does it have to do with dragonflies?” She told me she didn’t know, but she felt it was God’s comfort to me somehow. I continued to see the baby blue dragonflies, by the droves! I saw them at our farm, at the fields where my boys were playing ball, around our pool, everywhere I went. After Brody was baptized in the pool on April 26, 2008, three months after Bronner went to heaven there, we felt it was okay to swim in the pool again. So, we were all out there, Brooks, Brody, Brandi, and me, swimming when a sweet little baby blue dragonfly lit on the side of our pool. It sat there so long and let me get so close to it that I was able to examine it completely. It had, of course, the baby blue body, but I noticed it had bulging green eyes. I had to know what these dragonflies were all about.

Normally, I would go to the bible for answers, but in this case I went to the internet. I looked up dragonflies and was amazed at what I learned. A dragonfly goes through a metamorphosis just like a butterfly does, but dragonflies… start their life out... in the water.

That was my light bulb moment.

God wanted me to know that Bronner’s life didn’t end that night in the water. It began.

Here’s what I learned about dragonflies: A dragonfly lays its eggs in the water, and when they hatch, they are a little nymph (that’s actually what they’re called) that can live in the water for up to three years. “Up to," maybe that means 2 ½ years for some of them, I thought. The picture of a dragonfly nymph kind of looked like a small grasshopper. I learned that when the time came for the nymph to become a fully-grown dragonfly, it would crawl out of the water on a reed or a stick, and when the air touched its skin, the skin would begin to breath. The dragonfly would emerge from a slit in the back of the little nymph. It takes a little while for the dragonfly’s wings to unfurl, but when they do, the dragonfly doesn’t fly, that is, not until it sees the light. It will not take its inaugural flight at night. It waits for the morning light! I also noticed that a dragonfly is in the shape of a cross. A butterfly or a damselfly may close its wings up when it lights on a plant or a rock, but a dragonfly never does. It keeps its wings outstretched always in the shape of a cross.

I also found out that there are about 500 different varieties of dragonflies, but the one I kept seeing, the baby blue one, is called a blue dasher. A blue dasher! How amazing is God? My sweet Bronner was certainly a blue dasher. That baby of mine was a little runner. He loved, loved, loved, to run. I remember one night, not long before Bronner went to heaven, the two of us ate at Johnny Rockets together. The bigger boys had gone hunting with their dad. So, Bronner and I had a night to ourselves, one of many that winter, as the boys were trying to have that male bonding experience that hunting trips provide. So, Mommy and baby ate dinner at one of our favorites. He had chicken fingers and fries, and I… think I had a Patty Melt, my usual.

We had a little time to spare before we were going to see Alvin and the Chipmunks there at the movie theater at the Summit. So, we started walking, and that baby ran, literally ran, wide open with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen all the way from Johnny Rockets on one end of the Summit Shopping Center to Barnes and Noble on the opposite end. I remember him so well that night in his “Jesus Loves Me” toboggan his uncle Jamie had gotten him for Christmas. He looked like a doll just come to life with so much pent up energy to burn. He was a fast little guy, but he was even more cute than he was fast. It goes without saying that he drew lots of attention that night. Everyone commented on him. I heard people say, “What a doll!” And, “He’s really something isn’t he?” I beamed with pride at having that sweet angel baby, my blue dasher, by my side.

You know, it’s funny. I remember thinking one day when the two of us were at the zoo that it was such a shame that I was the only one there with him that day. We went to the zoo a lot. It was Bronner’s favorite place to go if he wanted to go somewhere. He would ask for it by saying, “I go zoo.” The boys were in school that day, Rick was at work, and the grandparents were at home in Jacksonville and in Guntersville, so it was just me and my little guy. There weren’t many other people there that day. It was kind of a slow day at the zoo as many weekdays could be.

Bronner, of course, wanted nothing to do with a stroller. He loved to run through the zoo as fast as he could, and he enjoyed himself so much. I looked at him rounding the corner over by the Children’s Zoo strutting along with a little zip in his step and a dance in his soul. He was so happy and so cute that I wished that someone else was there to see it. And, I felt a little twinge of sadness. I wanted everyone to be able to see how wonderful and beautiful and precious and perfect a baby Bronner was at that very moment. And, you know? I believe I’ve been granted that desire.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

Bronner’s birthday is coming up on May 27th. He would be turning five. I think turning five is a big deal. It’s kind of that step from babyhood to boyhood, and I can only imagine how wonderful Bronner would be at five. He was just so robust and strong and energetic and completely all boy. He, even at two-and-a-half, had this strong squeeze he would hug you with that I just knew would turn into the strong arms of a great man someday.

Next month, he would be five, so I am doing a video project I’ll share with you when it’s all done. But, the project has required me to go through all of his pictures, and just looking at the smiles, the silly looks, the love he had for his family, and just how happy and content and curious a baby he was has given me a renewed inspiration for what is to come. I do have so much to look forward to. This life is broken for me. I can still smile and laugh with my other children. I can still be surrounded by love and friendship and the comfort that comes only by the great comforter, The Holy Spirit of God. I can know God and take great delight in Him, but I know that right now, things just aren’t complete for me. I always, always have this deep sense that something, someone is missing.

Our family is incomplete and likely will be for a long time, so we live for the purpose God has called us to. In addition to the ministry God has given us through the Rick and Bubba Show and through Bronner's life and death, Rick and I live to raise up Brooks and Brody as men of God, and we will continue to build on what has been started in Brandi and Blake. We can still be filled with joy at the hope and the glory we've been called to and promised, but I know things won’t be all that we hope them to be until our baby, our little blue dasher, our precious, precious Bronner is in our arms again.

Thank you, God, for grace and mercy and hope, and thank you, God, that you have given us a glimpse of heaven in a child named Bronner. Thank you for all you’ve taught us through it all. Thank you for focusing our eyes on what they should be focused on, the unseen, the heavenly, the eternal. Thank you for showing us that we're only on a pilgrimage, strangers and exiles on the earth, and for helping us to desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Thank you for helping us seek our true homeland.

As Joni Eareckson Tada asked, “How can I miss a place I’ve never been? But I do. I miss heaven.” I understand, sweet sister. I understand. Thank you, God, for preparing for us a city and for very great and precious promises.

Yes, we have so, so much to look forward to, and without the loss of my sweet Bronner, I’m not sure I would have ever seen things the way I see them now, and, possibly, nor would you have. All that I’ve learned through this horrific event in my life I have felt from the beginning is meant to be shared. God has a message in all of this, the dragonflies, the comfort our family received from the body of Christ, the unity of the church as demonstrated through its mourning of a most precious child, the revelations given through the whispers of the Holy Spirit impressed upon our hearts in the stillness after the storm, dreams of heaven, of Bronner and of messages to the church from God, all of it is meant not just for Rick and me, but for all of us, the church. Let’s learn together, friends, of God’s character and grace and love, even in the most unlikely of places.

With love and gratitude,

Sherri+

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Alabama's Future: It's a Gamble

Alabama is my home state. I have never lived anywhere else. I was born in Marshall County and lived there for most of my childhood. I went through the Guntersville Public School System for all 12 years of school. I did not attend kindergarten. There were a few years of my very early childhood in which my family lived in Oneonta in Blount County where my dad had learned the trade of stone masonry. I also spent a good bit of time in Cullman County visiting my grandparents in Holly Pond. My mother grew up on a farm there with 10 other siblings and remembers picking cotton in the fields alongside the rest of her family and a few hired hands. I remember running through bells of hay and playing in my grandparents’ barn and swimming in their pond. There was water skiing on Lake Guntersville and going hiking and caving all throughout the Tennessee Valley. I took dance at Jane Kohl School of Dance growing up and ran track in high school. It was a humble beginning, and I honestly can’t say it was all good. But, that's where I come from.

For college, I went to Jacksonville State University located in Calhoun County. After graduating, I worked in Gadsden and spent a couple of years there in Etowah County as a reporter. That was my first real brush with politics. My News Director at WAAX radio, Dave Fitz, sent me to interview Congressmen and Gubernatorial Candidates, judges, mayors, and anyone else of importance who came through our town. This all made me quite nervous as a young girl just out of college, but I remember Dave telling me, “Well, they pull on their pants one leg at a time just like you do.” That gave me the confidence I needed to do my job well. I learned so much working there about how a community is run and the issues that are important to people. And that’s where I met my husband, Rick, who was doing the morning show on the FM side of our AM News/Talk station.

It was a Gadsden preacher who helped Rick and me see that we needed a firm foundation in Christ for our marriage. Rick Cagle married us at the First Baptist Church in Gadsden. My parents had only taken me to church sporadically during my childhood, never setting down roots anywhere but hopping around and visiting all sorts of different churches mainly in the Baptist, Holiness, and Church of God range, and there was even a tent revival or two. I remember sitting in the Von Braun Civic Center at a Billy Graham Crusade as they came through Hunstville. I don’t remember much of what that great evangelist said that day, but I sure do remember that my aisle was empty during that alter call. I think I may have been the only human being still sitting in that entire row.

I remember vacation bible school and learning the books of the bible and the Ten Commandments. And, I remember God really pursuing me throughout my childhood. I even went down to the altar at one church to ask Jesus to save me, but I’m not sure that was my real salvation experience. It was certainly the beginning of lots of trials and tests from the Lord, many of which I failed. But one of the fondest memories I have of childhood church experiences was when we joined a little country church at a baptism service out in the woods where the preacher man was baptizing people in the river. I remember the sun shining down through the trees on a long line of people ready to go down into that water to wash their sins away. It was just like the old song, “Yes, we will gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river; Gather with the saints at the river that flows by the throne of God.” Of course, the song is talking about the River of Life in heaven, but something about it just seemed the same.

Even so, somehow, along the way I went off the path of God and went my own way, but I knew I was wrong and that God was right all along. I was just selfish. On the day I married Rick Burgess in that beautiful old church in Gadsden, I felt God calling me home. I felt his hand upon me that day anointing and blessing and forgiving and changing everything.

I only worked one year as a television news reporter in Anniston before I decided to begin my first years of married life with a little more normal schedule, so I took a job with the Calhoun County Chamber of Commerce. When Rick’s radio station decided to move to Birmingham, we had a hard time leaving Lakeview Baptist Church in Oxford where I had finally put down some religious roots. It was there that I was baptized into the Lord at the age of 26. And it was there that I began a lifelong love relationship with the Word of God. All the questions I had as a child like, “I know Jesus died for my sins, but why did he have to die?” were answered. Through bible study everything was becoming clear. “Oh, that’s why that happened.” And, “Oh Lord, you really do love us, don’t you?”

In Birmingham, I worked a couple of years at Fox 6 as the Community Affairs Coordinator before I had my first sweet baby, Brooks. Motherhood has been my full-time job ever since. I helped raise my two step-children, Brandi and Blake. I have buried one baby, a son. But, I still have two precious boys at home. Losing Bronner has taught me more than anything ever has, and I feel that what God has taught me through it all is meant to be shared. So, I see a new ministry forming in my life as a result of that great test of faith, that, by the way, I am not failing this time. But, I have asked God this question, “How do I keep a heavenly focus, looking to the clouds eagerly awaiting the day my Savior appears there, when my feet are firmly planted on the ground?” Two chapters of the bible help answer that question, Romans 12 and Colossians 3, which I hope you will take the time to read in their entirety on your own.

But, I will say that Romans 12 teaches that we are to abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good. It tells us to overcome evil with good. And these are the reasons why I believe it is important to preserve what is good in the world. I believe that my home state of Alabama is good. We certainly have had our ups and downs as a state just like each individual has. Slavery and racial inequality will forever be the shame of our state’s history. But, I ask each of you if you aren’t as guilty before a holy God? It is only through grace and mercy anyone, regardless of their race or background, could stand before Him. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and my state, Alabama, has certainly sinned and fallen short of the God she has always claimed. But, Alabama’s conservative Christian values at present need to be acknowledged regardless of her past.

I look around in the Birmingham and Hoover Metropolitan Area where I live and can count scores of wonderful, thriving, large and alive churches, mine being just one of them, and my church boasts of 5,000 members. That’s nothing compared to Church of the Highlands who has set national records in church growth. I love to listen to the passionate preacher of the Church at Brook Hills, David Platt, who everyone agrees is just anointed as a preacher and a teacher, no matter where they go to church. Then there’s Hunter Street and Briarwood and Dawson and so many others where God is alive and working and thriving in the hearts of men and women He calls His own. So, I see our city as that shining city on a hill that Jesus talked about shining our light, the light of Christ, to the rest of our state, and our state to our nation, and our nation continuing its place as the light to the rest of the world.

You do realize that American missionaries have spread the gospel by far more than any other nation ever has, excluding the Hebrew nation of Israel through which we even have the gospel. My church alone sends out missionaries all the time. Our members have spanned the globe teaching and helping and spreading the message of hope and salvation through Christ’s shed blood on the cross as payment for the sins of the world, and almost every Sunday I see someone from China being baptized into the faith right there in our baptismal at Shades Mountain Baptist Church in Vestavia Hills, Alabama. I’ve never seen so many Chinese people as I’ve seen go through that baptismal. And, my friend, Kristi, told me just yesterday at lunch about a week she spent in some community in the former Soviet Union several years ago that at the time she just felt hopeless for. She didn’t think they were making one bit of difference by being there. The people were just so superstitious in this particular community she said. But, she and her husband went back after a year or so had passed to that same community, and the man who had been their interpreter was a Christian pastor with 30 people in his congregation. How’s that for not making a difference?

Dr. David Jeremiah in What In The World Is Going On? writes, “God has blessed America because we have been the launching pad of the world’s great missionary movement. In the aftermath of World War II, Americans started 1,800 missions agencies and sent out more than 350,000 missionaries. And as a result, today 95 percent of the world’s population have access, not only to some portion of Scripture in their language, but also to Christian radio broadcasts, audio recordings, and the Jesus film. That achievement is due largely to the missionary zeal of churches in the United States.”

We know from scripture that a nation who stands for God is in the palm of His hand. We are who we are as a nation only by the Hand of God Almighty. Even Communist China knows this. I have a book called Jesus Comes to Beijing written by the former Beijing Bureau Chief for Time magazine, David Aikman. This is how it begins:

“The eighteen American tourists visiting China weren’t expecting much from the evening’s scheduled lecture. They were already exhausted from a day of touring in Beijing. But what the speaker had to say astonished them.

‘One of the things we were asked to look into was what accounted for the success, in fact, the pre-eminence of the West all over the world,’ he said. ‘We studied everything we could from the historical, political, economic, and cultural perspective. At first, we thought it was because you had more powerful guns than we had. Then we thought it was because you had the best political system. Next we focused on your economic system. But in the past twenty years, we have realized that the heart of your culture is your religion: Christianity. That is why the West has been so powerful. The Christian moral foundation of social and cultural life was what made possible the emergence of capitalism and then the successful transition to democratic politics. We don’t have any doubt about this.’

This was not coming from some ultra-conservative think tank in Orange County, California, or from Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. This was a scholar from one of China’s premier academic research institutes, the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences (CASS) in Beijing, in 2002.”

What China knows about America, America has forgotten. I look at the optimism in the faces of my children, and it makes me want to help America remember. Remember where you have come from and ask yourself where are you going as a nation? Will you turn your back on the God who made you what and who you are? Sometimes I think Americans feel guilty that they have more than anyone else in the world. But what do we really have? As the Apostle Peter told the crippled beggar, “Silver and gold, I have none, but what I have I give to you.” What we have, my dear friends, is Jesus. Jesus. That’s all we can boast about. That is all. We, here in America, have never really felt persecution for our faith, but we are feeling it now, aren’t we?

What is happening in our government nationally and locally is an assault on Christ. We all know our current President has claimed that we are no longer a Christian nation, but I will say to that that he hasn’t been to my church lately. When the BBC came here to do a special on some London teenagers who were staying with some friends of ours from church, they were blown away. They had never seen anything like it. Our church service was joyful. The house was full. The people were glad to be there from infants to the aged. One of the BBC workers sat in front of our family that Sunday in church, but he didn’t have a bible. So, I gave him one from our family. It was a new but small leather bible I had bought for Brooks just a week or so before that Sunday morning service. I believe it was the first bible this man had ever owned. He told us that the churches in England are old and stuffy and what little people who still go to them are old too. He had never witnessed a young person singing praise to God. But thankfully, Blake was behind him, so that is certainly no longer the case. That son of ours isn’t ashamed to belt it out on a Sunday morning.

Many people in England see themselves in us. England was the home of the Great Awakening and the birthplace of the protestant reformation, but now they have left their first love and turned to other gods. Israel did it. England has done it. And now, America looks like it’s on that same path. What will we do as Christians to stop it? First, care. Second, know. Third, do. Care enough to get informed about what is happening in state and federal government. If you have a heart for God and for this nation, you’ll want to do something about it.

We all know that this next election cycle is critical as to the direction our nation will take as a nation. Will we stand for religious freedom and take measures to stop this assault on the biblical standard of living? Our President says he doesn’t know when life begins. God tells us in Psalm 139. See, people are looking to the world for answers, and they’ll never find them there. Only God knows these things. Only God can tell us infallibly about anything. But, there’s just no love for the Word of God anymore. We don’t know, because we don’t study God’s Word. There are answers to all of life’s questions there. Is homosexuality a sin? Yes!!! It is so clear that homosexuality is an abomination to God. He loathes it. He detests it in the same way He detests divorce and infidelity and murder and lies and all other sins. God hates sin! He is holy! The angels cry out holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come. Holiness means to be set apart, to be different. It is a characteristic of God and it should be a characteristic of His people as well.

But we forget to be holy, set apart for the Lord, and we take up the things of the world and place them in a place of importance where they should not be. God’s people aren’t being different enough. We’re like everyone else. You can’t spot us anymore. We divorce and gamble and squander our money on things that don’t mean anything. It’s certainly not unheard of. God’s people have always strayed from him. The big question is “Will we come back?” Will we turn from our evil ways and seek a holy God? I pray that we will for our children’s sake. I don’t want my children to grow up and find their world a place inhospitable to them as children of God. If it is God’s will, it will happen, but as a parent, I need to know I’ve done all I can to prevent it.

We need to be aware of things going on right here in our backyard like this gambling thing. The operators of casino style gambling have their hearts set on Alabama, and they’ll do anything in their power to get us. They’ll lie, and pay off politicians, and let’s not forget that their whole business is one of robbery. Gambling preys upon the weak and the poor. There are countless stories of men and women who’ve gambled away their last dime. This is what they want. The chairs in casinos are ergonomically designed so that people can sit comfortably for long periods of time. There are usually no windows or clocks. They want you to sit there, losing all track of time, until they’ve got everything you have.

People ask, “So what’s the problem? If they want to blow their money, it’s their business, they’re not hurting anyone.” Oh, really? What about the child whose dad just gambled away his lunch money for school the next day? Gambling is a known addiction in the same way cocaine is an addiction. There’s a hook, line, and sinker for every fool who ever gets started.

My pastor was away on a mission trip to South Africa a couple of weeks ago and had one of our members, Joe Godfrey, a former Baptist preacher who now works for ALCAP, which touts itself as Alabama’s Moral Compass, fill in for him. Godfrey’s sermon was from Judges 14 in which Samson makes a wager and loses. He had bet thirty linen garments and thirty changes of clothes, a very expensive wager. Of course, when you want to get to Samson, you go to his wife, which is what they did. The people he had bet against enticed Samson’s wife to find out his riddle, and when they did, Samson had lost his bet. He couldn’t pay it, so he went to a certain town and struck down thirty men and took their spoil and gave the garments to those who had told the riddle.

Godfrey said, “It happens all the time. People committing crimes in order to pay their gambling debt.” The crime rates in cities where casino style gambling is allowed are through the roof. The crime rate in Las Vegas is around 2000% higher than other vacation spots around the nation. They have even legalized prostitution there. Is this what we want for Alabama?

Again, I say Alabama isn’t perfect, but whatever good left in her should be preserved. Why? I believe we can look to our state flower, the camellia, that blooms when nothing else is blooming. Let’s bloom for the Lord when nothing else is. Let’s shine the light of Christ to the rest of our nation, so that our nation will turn back to the Lord.

I heard a man from Colorado say, “We as Christians living in other parts of the nation are looking to the Conservative Christian South for leadership, and we are not finding it.” Rick and I believe that Alabama as a state suffers from poor self-esteem. We don’t see ourselves as a leader on the national scale. We should. But, we have to protect our Christian way of life from outsiders like those who want to change the face of Alabama into something vulgar, unholy, and that which leads to all kinds of sin. Gambling is nothing more than a love of money. It stems from hearts of greed and idolatry. The bible teaches that games of chance are nothing more than idols, and our friend, Joe Godfrey, pointed out that if that is the case, then gambling goes against at least three of the ten commandments.

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

2. You shall not make for yourselves a carved image, or idol.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, his wife, his servant, his ox, donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.

We could probably go ahead and add 8. You shall not steal. And in Samson's case, we could look at 6. You shall not murder. You could likely make an argument that gambling goes against the very fiber of the ten commandments as a whole.

The love of money leads to all kinds of wickedness. And, if the poor guy doesn’t feel right to go and kill or steal from someone else if he’s lost everything, many times he’ll kill himself.

Gambling is a sin. Period. It is rooted in greed, and I advise that we take note of these politicians within our state who are promoting gambling as something good for our state, people like Troy King. If you’re promoting gambling here in Alabama, you’ve likely had your pocket lined lately. Does anyone remember Larry Langford? When I first moved to Birmingham and worked at Fox 6, I met the former mayor of Birmingham. He was then the mayor of Fairfield, and I really liked him then. He talked about God and his love for God, and I thought we were of kindred spirits. I think that maybe we were, but the love of money and greed and the lust of the eyes got him. And now, he’s in jail. I was saddened by his fall.

I love my state, and I know you do to. Let’s promote, protect, and preserve what is good in Alabama from the evil that is always lurking so close behind.

Native Alabamian,

Sherri Bodine Burgess

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rediscovering Joy


So sorry I haven’t written a post these past two weeks. I have thought about you so much and have so much to say, but everything I’ve had these first two weeks of March I left in Pleasant Grove, Alabama and Douglas, Georgia, two communities in which I’ve spoken at back-to-back women’s conferences these last two Saturdays. But, what a blessing for me to be with such wonderful groups of women! I have to say that the women at the various churches where I’ve gone to speak these past two years are all quite unique yet in so many ways they are all the same, the same in such good ways, like the fact that we are all one body of Christ. Everywhere I’ve gone, it seems like I’ve known the sweet ladies there all my life, like we’re family, distant cousins I share a history with but are just getting to know. And, that’s the way it should be, because we are family. I love them, and they love and care for me. I know them, because we are the same. We have the same Spirit. We all have the same hope. We are looking for the same person, Jesus, eagerly awaiting the day the trumpet sounds for all of us to meet Him in the air. What a day of rejoicing that will be, as the old hymn says!!!

But, the women in Pleasant Grove were absolutely the most responsive group I’ve ever been with. I always do an alter call at the end where I ask the women to just come pray to the Lord whatever God is stirring in their hearts, and I think the whole church came down at Pleasant Grove First Baptist. When I got back up to the podium to close us in prayer. I looked up and saw empty pews everywhere. They were all face down at the altar, except for those who had to stand in the aisles to pray for lack of room for them at the altar. Just amazing! I even had a little doggie come down, definitely a first! It was Margaret Feinberg’s little dog, Hershey, that she just didn’t know what else to do with when she went down to pray. What a cute and sweet and bubbly and fun and smart sister-in-Christ we have in Margaret who also spoke that day. She flew in from Colorado to be with us. None of us had ever met her before but felt that Rocky Mountain girl who had also braved a few years in Alaska fit in with us Alabama girls just fine.

Now, the Douglas women’s most identifiable characteristic was that they had a double portion of joy. They were so joyful they were overflowing with it. It was an unmistakable characteristic of this community of believers, and I believe the cause of so much joy down there in South Georgia may be because of the infectious personality of one woman, the same woman who invited me to come down in the first place and had signed her e-mail to me joy, joy, Joyce. What a fun and positive person to be around. All of my interactions with Joyce Ashley were so filled with hope and joy that I just couldn’t help but be excited to go there and meet her, but when I got there I realized that everyone there was just like her I believe because Joyce’s brand of uncontained joy is contagious. She bounced around the place with all the intensity of the sun on a hot August day in either Alabama or South Georgia, and the other ladies who greeted me and my friend, Linda, at the airport were maybe even more excited that Joyce. One of them, Amber, just couldn’t contain her joy that I was there, since she was the one upon whose heart the Lord had put my name. She said she knew that I was supposed to come to their enJoying the Journey Women’s Conference.

I told them I didn’t know whose idea it was to ask me to speak on joy but that I had thought whoever it was was either a little loopy… or maybe… just crazy like a fox. ’Cause if a person like me could stand up there and tell them I still had joy in my heart after all that has happened to me, then anyone can have joy. I remember so well in those days right after Bronner went to heaven when I felt like all joy had left me, that there was just none left in my heart. I was still alive but just barely really. It wasn’t living. I felt like I was going through the motions of life, living only for my children and my husband. I ate but only to keep up my strength to be able to care for my remaining family. But, one night, I was reading a little booklet to my children as their bedtime story. It was called Scripture Confessions For Kids, and on its pages I read these words, “No one can take my joy from me, for Jesus is my joy and His joy makes me strong.” I got up from reading that, went to the kitchen, and ate a piece of chocolate. Now, no one eats chocolate for any other reason than for the pure joy of it. Chocolate is pure pleasure. It had been the first thing I had done for myself since my baby went to heaven. That night was the beginning of a little ray of hope that I might, maybe, just maybe be able to make it.

Then, I remember three of my dear friends who were specifically praying for my joy to return. They came to my house one day and read the beginning of Isaiah 61 over me which says, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.” (vs. 1-3)

I told them no. I wasn’t ready for any oil of joy on me. No, not yet. I pointed them to James 4:6-10, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.”

I told my friends that I felt God calling me to humility, that I was being humbled by the mighty hand of God, and that for a season I needed to weep and mourn, to let my laughter be turned to mourning and my joy to gloom. And, I did, and I was. I felt so humbled, like nothing at all but a reed tossed in the wind with no strength of my own. At that time, I wasn’t sure my joy would ever return. I lent myself over to mourning and weeping. I went into a season so filled with tears, so many days spent out by Bronner’s grave, missing him, desperate really for him, but I did feel God’s presence with me. Some days it was comfort, and other days I’m not so sure. I remember being at the farm where we stayed for the first three months after Bronner went to heaven, and such a thunderstorm came that I thought we were going to die. A crash of thunder so loud it sounded like it had hit our house, woke me up to the thought, “Well, this is it. I’m going to be struck by lightening. That’s how I’m going to die.”

Rick and I got up, went to the living room, and sat the rest of the night on the couch together bewildered wondering what God was doing. What was He saying to us? I certainly felt like He wanted us to know that it was Him that night in the thunder, that He was in control, that He had a plan that we may not like but that He was going to carry it out. I stood in awe of Him that night, awestruck at His power and His might, that He was so superior to us, that He was the only one who gives life or takes it away. I really felt so insignificant in comparison to Him, and we were afraid. We really were. So many nights Rick and I just clung to each other. We were so hurt, so brokenhearted, and really dumbfounded by what had happened. We never imagined life could be this bad. We never imagined the baby of our dreams, precious Bronner, so filled with life and light and joy and spunk and pure sunshine, could die. It didn’t seem right. We knew it wasn’t right. Nothing about death is right. And, we had to learn why. We had to be reminded in such a completely harsh way that the world isn’t what it was meant to be, that the world is fallen and cursed, cursed by God as punishment for sin. I had to learn there is nothing right about this world. Nothing.

I really had loved my life before. I felt happy and blessed and favored by God. I was overflowing with joy before Bronner went to heaven. We certainly had had spiritual battles before, trials and persecution, but nothing like this, nothing potentially faith shaking. We had fought our battles before and won! We worked very hard and felt we were overcomers, but there had never been anything like this. We realized that the trials we had before were just that, trials, battles to be won, but this was a test of faith. Would we remain faithful in the midst of such devastation? This was no battle, and there was nothing we could win back. I thought about it, though. I had hoped that maybe Bronner could be resurrected. I thought it all out in my mind. I wanted to go to his grave and say, “Bronner, come forth,” just like Jesus had when He raised Lazarus from the dead. Rick convinced me not to do that. He told me he felt in his spirit that that would be wrong, that God had a plan and a purpose in our baby’s dying, and no plan of God’s can be thwarted.

Jesus said, “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” He didn’t want us to live our lives for this world but for the next, for the one coming that would be perfect and beautiful and free from sin and death. I loved my life before, and I lost it. I lost everything about it. My happy little world was over, but something new started to bloom. I knew the Lord before, and I had served Him the best way I knew how. But, God was taking me to a place far deeper with Him than my happy and blessed life could have ever imagined. I realized God had not taken my baby out of anger or as punishment for some sin I had committed, but He took my baby out of love for me.

One of those three friends I was talking about who wanted my joy to return told me, “You were chosen for this, not because God doesn’t love you, but because He does love you and trusts you with such a great test of faith.”

Over time, I realized Angela had been right. Abraham had been called a friend of God, and God was making friends of Rick and me. We were becoming so intimately acquainted with Him and His ways, so far above our ways that He is almost incomprehensible, but we were beginning to see. We were beginning to comprehend God’s ways. We were beginning to look first through God’s eyes instead of our own.

One day, I received a book in the mail, and on the back, there was a bio of the author. It said he was pastor at such and such place, he went to such and such seminary. He had a wife. I can’t remember her name, and four children, one of whom has gone on to be with the Lord. His son had drown just like ours had.

I read that and burst into tears, and I started pleading with God to tell me why. Why the children? Why so many children? Why do you take the children of people like this pastor who had given his life in service to you, God, and why Bronner, a baby who couldn’t have been more loved or more wanted in this world. Why? Why the children? And I said, “God, there is nothing worse than losing a child! Nothing!”

"I know you lost your son, but you got him back after three days. Three days!"

And he said to me, “But what about the others? All my children I have to send away from my presence for eternity. You’re going to get a glorious reunion with your son, but not all of my children will I see again except on that day when they rise again only to die a second death.”

We’re all God’s creation. It’s His breath that gives us life. We’re all His, and God saw fit to take my happy life away from me - for a time - in order that many lost souls would be turned to Him, that he wouldn’t have to send them off to die a second death, but that through the testimony of a small child named Bronner, they would live forever.

See, ’cause death has a way of waking people up to the reality of itself. And they start asking questions like “What if that had been my child?" Or, "What if it had been me? What would happen to my soul if I died today?"

I was learning not only that God had a plan and a purpose in my baby’s dying and that I had to get on board with it so I could help carry on to completion what God had started, but I was learning that God considered me a friend. He trusted me, and He did love me. And that’s why He took Bronner. He knew Rick and I would search out the scriptures for the Why? He knew we would listen for His voice. And He knew we would obey. He knows us better than we know ourselves. I would have told you I could have never endured such a thing as losing my precious, precious Bronner, but now I see I haven’t lost him at all. I know exactly where he is, and I know, I know, he will be in my arms again. I don’t doubt it one little bit. And I’ve watched the other children grow like crazy these past two years and have felt the time fly by reminding me of how brief a moment we’re here. It won’t be long now, sweet baby. I’ll be there before you know it. And, my joy will be full.

This Christmas, I didn’t order enough Christmas cards, so I made a New Year’s card to send out to the people I hadn’t had enough Christmas cards for. I started going through my pictures from 2009 to select a few to put on the card, and to my surprise, I saw so many smiles. I went through those pictures of our past year and saw life and purpose, and I saw joy. To my surprise, joy had crept its way back into our lives.

My New Year’s card said, “Surprised by joy in 2009!” And inside it said, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.” (Isaiah:61:1-3)

Joy to the World! The Lord has Come!

Joyfully Yours,

Sherri