From One Salt Dispenser To Another

Writing is a lonely business, but I never really felt alone those five years I spent writing my book. God's Spirit was my constant companion. I depended on Him for every word. I was so in the Spirit for so long that I was sustained.  I felt so called and compelled by God to complete this project that I believed I would be in sin if I didn't finish it.  I still think this book will be my single greatest contribution to God's kingdom in this generation.  It's that important.  The sacrifice, the pain, the solitude, the hours upon hours of study, prayer, and contemplation that went into it even before one word was written made this feel like a mission. It consumed me. I could not rest until it was finished, and I couldn't see beyond the writing.  I didn't know how much effort and time and publicity was involved in the publishing process. After all that time alone, I've been thrust into somewhat of a media whirlwind with interviews coming almost everyday.  I'm very thankful. I want to get the message that God gave me during those five years of wrestling it all out with Him into the hands of as many people as I can because I believe it will help them to understand that God loves them even when it doesn't seem like he does.

It's been a hard transition, and Rick has been praying for me nonstop. Yesterday, I went to see an old friend, mentor, and former Bible teacher of mine, and she prayed for me too. Then, she gave me this salt cellar that once belonged to her grandmother's first cousin who was a missionary to Japan many years ago, a family heirloom I was very hesitant to accept. But she told me I am family to her. We are all family who belong to Jesus Christ. We are brothers, and we are sisters. We are called to give generously and beautifully and sacrificially to one another. That's what Penny Pace did for me yesterday. She wanted me to be reminded always to be salt and light in this generation.

Then I went to another friend's house to pray, and as Julie and I talked and prayed, I realized what God is doing. I was so humbled when Bronner first went to Heaven. I wanted nothing of this world, but only to walk out God's purpose for my life, which for a long time was writing a book. But that's over, and God has brought me into a new season. He wants me know that I need Him just as much now as I ever did. If I want to be salt and light, then I have walk in the Spirit continually. And if I want to do these interviews to "my utmost for His highest," then I can't do it alone. Rick and I can't do this alone.  I'm going to need Penny and Julie and Janice and Anne and Leslie and Linda and Susan and Pam and Lisa Ann and Wendy and Lynn and Kim and Meredith and Maegan and so many others if I am going to do this any justice at all, but most of all, I have been reminded that it's God I need most in this life. I need His wise and discerning council every moment of my life because I am weak and fallible and fallen even if I have been redeemed.

Thank God that where I am weak, He is strong. "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (1 Corinthians 12:9). And I pray that the manner of life that I lead from this day forward will be worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a life that is fearless and bold, one that casts every anxiety upon Him because I know He cares for me, and one that is watchful.  Oh how I know the adversary prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour, but greater still do I know the power of God to protect, to heal, to grow, sustain, and fulfill.

Will you be salt and light with me? And will you watch and pray with me?  I need you dear friends and sisters and brothers in this season where I have found myself to be a messenger for God. That is no small thing, and I have felt its weight. But I believe God is with me, and that He is within me.  What can man do to me? And what do I have to fear? 

Father, glorify your name.